28 ene 2008

Silogismos de Amargura


Hace algún tiempo publiqué en este mismo espacio un texto del gran Emile Cioran, extraído del Breviario de Podredumbre, ése pequeño compendio de ensayos no aptos para suicidas potenciales.

Hasta ayer por la tarde mi vida era completamente feliz. Sin embargo, cometí la estupidez de darme una vuelta por la librería, para ver qué me autoregalaré (y pediré que me regalen) el día de mi cumpleaños, que ya muy próximo está en fecha. Y fue ahí donde encontré los Silogismos de Amargura, que ya desde el título nos ofrecen una idea del contenido al interior de las páginas.

Temerario, como soy -o me considero- pensé que en esta etapa de mi vida, donde todo era quietud en la mar de mi existencia, después de haber afrontado algunas serias tormentas, leer a Cioran sería como ver episodio de Plaza Sésamo en la televisión. Sin embargo no contaba con que Silogismos de Amargura son precisamente eso: breves aforismos desbordantes de frustración, desamparo y nausea existencial.

Al leerlos me vino a la memoria una anécdota que narra Héctor Subirats en la presentación de la antología Misterios gozosos, que recoge algunos de los textos más importantes de Fernando Savater. Ahí narra que un día él y Savater estaban en el zoológico de alguna ciudad, y mientras avanzaban entre los pabellones de exhibición, se encontraron de frente con una morsa que, desde el otro lado del cristal, los miraba con tal repugnancia, que al mirarla se podía entender en el instante el asco que le producía a Cioran la existencia…

En fin, que no quisiera morir sólo; así que les comparto aquí algunos de los –a mi gusto- silogismos más desgarradores. Eso sí, antes de comenzar a leerlos sería deseable que se cercioren que no haya objetos punzocortantes en las proximidades de su computadora.

Felices depresiones:

Silogismos de Amargura

En este «gran dormitorio», como llama un texto taoísta al universo, la pesadilla es la única forma de lucidez.

Para vengarnos de quienes son más felices que nosotros, les inoculamos -a falta de otra cosa- nuestras angustias. Porque nuestros dolores, desgraciadamente, no son contagiosos.

Fuera de la dilatación del yo, fruto de la parálisis general, no existe ningún remedio contra las crisis del abatimiento, contra la asfixia de la nada, contra el horror de no ser más que un alma dentro de un salivazo.

¿Nuestros ascos? Desvíos del asco que nos tenemos a nosotros mismos.

Nadie puede conservar su soledad si no sabe hacerse odioso.

Vivo únicamente porque puedo morir cuando quiera: sin la idea del suicidio, hace tiempo que me hubiera matado.

Tanto he mimado la idea de la fatalidad, a costa de tan grandes sacrificios la he alimentado, que ha acabado por encarnarse: de la abstracción que era, ahora palpita irguiéndose ante mí, aplastándome con toda la vida que le he dado.

“Señor, sin ti estoy loco, pero más loco aún contigo”. Ese sería, en el mejor de los casos, el resultado de la reanudación del contacto entre el fracasado de abajo y el fracasado de arriba.

Cuando, por apetito de soledad, hemos roto nuestros lazos con los demás, el Vacío nos embarga: nos quedamos sin nadie a nuestra disposición. ¿A quién liquidar ahora? ¿Dónde encontrar una víctima duradera? -Semejante perplejidad nos abre a Dios: al menos con El estamos seguros de poder romper indefinidamente...

La dignidad del amor consiste en el afecto desengañado que sobrevive a un instante de baba.
Una naturaleza religiosa se define menos por sus convicciones que por su necesidad de prolongar sus sufrimientos más allá de la muerte.

12 comentarios:

Anónimo dijo...

Chale maese no se me achicopale pos. Ya sabe que se le estima mucho.
Yo le dare una sorpresa en sus cumple.

Anónimo dijo...

En alguna materia que cursé durante la licenciatura, leí "Ese maldito yo", ha sido el único acercamiento que tuve a la obra de Emile Cioran.
Realmente es compleja y si llega a provocar obscuros pensamientos.
¡Valla que tienes gustos extraños.!

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